Who will replace Paula Abdul as American Idol Judge?
Posted on August 11, 2009, under August: Celebrity Gossiping.
Who will replace Paula Abdul?!?! After eight long years, Paula Abdul announced her decision to quit her job as American Idol judge. This changes things! The classic line up was – Paula “always has a good thing to say” Abdul; former Journey bass player and over-user of the word ‘dawg’ – Randy “lava bomb” Jackson; and of course Simon “the organ grinder” Cowell. Later Kara “who the hell are you?” DioGuardi would join the line up.
With Paula gone, we’re down to three, and Posh Spice took over for a guest appearance apparently with a view to a full-time job. However, the Daily Mail suggest that Posh failed to impress on her Idol debut, saying she seemed too hard to please.
So for the benefit of everyone involved…. This, is my my top five suggestions for the next American Idol Judge.
Potential Paula Abdul Replacements…
David Hasselhoff
David Hasselhoff is great. I grew up watching Knight Rider and even a little bit of Baywatch, so it’s impossible for me to dislike the guy. But think about it: he’s obviously crazy, says the strangest things, and isn’t as famous for his singing career as he is for other stuff. Damn! If Paula Abdul had chest hair, it’d practically be a straight swap!
Megan Fox
I love women with accurate surnames. Fox, rumoured to be playing a young Lara Croft in a Tomb Raider prequel movie, and also the She-Hulk, would be a great Idol judge. Well, I can think of two good reasons, at least! ( 1- she’ll bring more viewers to the show, and 2- she’s actually quite funny in interviews. Why, what two things were you thinking of?)
Barack Obama
Bear with me, OK? Paula Abdul was known for sitting on the fence, and only saying nice things. Well this guys a politician! He’d be awesome at making a bad singer feel like they were incredible, and what’s more, we’d probably believe him! Plus, this could be a great way for him to connect with the younger generation. Come on Barack, it’s only two evenings a week you can fit it in!
Darth Vader
Let’s be honest, Simon Cowell isn’t going to keep judging forever. He’s even mentioned his desire to eventually move ‘backstage’ and work from there. So we need to groom in a replacement Mr Nasty. I think Darth Vader is the man for the job. He’s honest, ruthless, and can do that neck-crushing move whenever someone has a bad audition (it’s often what we’re hoping to see anyway…).
Optimus Prime
I know what you're thinking. Don't be silly, how could Optimus Prime be an Idol judge - he'll never fit in the chairs! And you're right, of course they'll have to rebuild the studio slightly to accommodate Optimus, or kick out half the audience, but I can't see a problem with that. Plus he can give Ryan Seacrest a lift to work every morning. Optimus would be a great judge; if you could drag him away from Twitter long enough…